What is your reference


Recently, a friend told me he was going to write his thoughts on feminism, it was after he read my post “Teach them who they really are”( By the way go check it if you didn’t). He shared his writing yesterday with me and I didn’t wait but asked him if I could share his text on my blog. His name is Dorel Ndayisaba, a very smart young man!

Here is what he wrote:

A plan B to replace the original purpose of the indispensable human creature.
Loosing the sight of the meaning of something makes people devalue or abuse it.
There has to be a reference in our concepts, our characters, our values.
Without a steady reference, everyone has full rights on (re)defining everything.
And right there is the problem.
Some have made themselves rulers of the world, the example to follow.
At the start, it was quiet good; economic development, independence, …
And inevitably, the line has been crossed…behavior, social standards, life concepts and so many more now were being redefined.
The hunger of becoming took over the thirst of being.
Everything has been redefined; again starting by the public subjects and going to the private ones…
“Work more to become ”; “Study more to become”; “Smile more to be”; “Love more if”; “Hate more if”; “do not accept to be”; “this is not acceptable…this, is”
See the progression…
(Un)fortunately, wrong does not become right just because it has been voted so.
Nature does not care at all.
A human is still priceless.
A woman is still the missing part in all the depicted ideal pictures painted by the society.
Every word said here above comes from the lack of reference.

“I know what I want. I know who I am.”
“From where did you get that information?”
“For me, I don’t need anyone/anything to dictate my life.”
“Now if you did not create yourself, the question is who put that information in you?”
Saying that we are our own sources is not logic. If it is so, we are raising so many other questions and this one is central:
“Am I worth 20,30,40 years of existence?”…I mean really??
Am I like a flower.. “here today and gone tomorrow?”

There has to be a steady reference that surpasses us.
The only fact that we are not the initiators of this world is enough to prevent us from setting the rules. The smartest among us go for the initiator and ask him what was his intentions when he was initiating all this; his values, his concepts; his precepts, his statutes.

Who taught us how to live, how to think, how to be a man, how to be a woman, how to obey, how to disobey,…
Or I’d say this; Who taught us if life is worth living, if it is worthy to be a man, worthy to be a woman, worthy to obey,…
Still the question remains the same… “What is your reference?”

I am aware that this text was supposed to be about ‘feminism’ but it is only mentioned once; because you are far more valuable than redefining yourself through the eyes of a movement.
Just find the one who defined you first.
The truth will show us the way, then and only then, we will live.

Dorel Ndayisaba




What if…


What if you were the person you admire
Will you love yourself more?
What if you were born rich, very rich
Will you be pursuing that degree?
What if you were not
The person you see in the mirror
But the one you have in your plans
Will you be smiling often?

What if your life is a dream
And everything you are enduring
Is a nightmare, a very crazy nightmare
What if you m wake up
And realise everything was a dream
Will you be happy?

What if you weren’t an orphan?
Will your life be better?
What if you weren’t a widow
But one happily married
Will you accept God loves you
What if your past was just an hallucination
Will you change it? Or live it better?

What if you were given another chance
Another book with blank pages
What will you be writing
How will your days be?
Will you make the same mistakes
Now that you know what you know

But you see?
All this ‘what ifs’ are just some ‘what ifs’
Living proofs that humans beings
Are unsatisfied creatures
Always longing for more, always searching
Always hustling, always dreaming
But never stable to appreciate the moment.

Ooh I can’t wait to be the ‘ person in my dreams’.
But we forget, we are already enough
Even though we live in a hurry
Not really knowing where the roads lead
Because every door leads to another one.

With Love,